i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just had sex on a roof
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
