rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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