North Korea, Best Korea!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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