My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
