it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
