You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Enjoy the penises
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize