I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
