is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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