Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
