I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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