do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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