i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
