people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
