you would pick up someone in the library
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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