Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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