If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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