i think i have two assholes
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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