I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
