i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
