There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
