I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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