i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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