My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am one with the molecules
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
