booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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