yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
