Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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