STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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