so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
