Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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