jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If that was your dad, he is hot
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
