Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
