Don't you send me to vm
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize