Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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