mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Ketchup is God's man juice
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
