I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
