Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
