I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
