I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
