i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize