He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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