If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
