he wants to bone in the snuggie
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
