Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
