My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
