i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
