Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
