I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
