I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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