Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
