His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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