dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
