thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize