why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
