ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If I die, sorry about rent.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize